bananaTALK

I think I MUST post this here. For my gratitude of having such very grateful students that had brought us ups and downs for almost 2 years.

My friend strongly advised me to get another job, actually. "Not high school. High school students are the most ungrateful for their teachers!". I just smiled. Not like I don't know that. For that while, my only anchor to stay was this 2009 students. I've made my promise to go hand in hand with them in their 12th grade. I should fulfill the promise first, then I can reconsider many things needed.

There were anger and laughter, pride and disappointment, happy and sad, hard work and hard play. Of course, high school students will take you to the extremes. It's like a default. I still remember how my class made a teacher got so furious. And of course, that time when we rushed in to sit tight and shut our mouth because the fierce math teacher's heard coming down the alley.

However we cursed them back then, those 'fierce' moments make the teachers so memorable. Never got out of my mind, the day when I put on my head scarf and this math teacher looked at me with his 'wicked' smile, said "Ah. Good. I must give you a present. Here, work on this problem". *daaanngg… trigonometry! I missed him a lot. Too bad he already left this school when I reenter as a teacher. I heard that he left with chin's up, defending his idealism. I salute you, sir 🙂

Or when a friend of mine shared that he was sent home because he was 5 minutes late. It was Sunday morning, a long journey from Bintaro to Velodrome in Rawamangun. Now he laughed at it and missed the handsome teacher a lot (Halo pak Ugi! Saya juga pikir bapak ganteng, lho). And I thought, "Thank God I didn't come late for his session!" hahaha…

So with all bad moments I got from 2 years of teaching experience, I tried to nail them with a 'they're just kids'. Kids that think they know many things better than their teachers (and they actually do). Kids that need to be realigned (and they DO need some, if not to be called many). Kids that are lost. Kids that desperately need help. Because I used to be one.

Regardless the painful moments, when all of them graduated, a part of my heart went empty. I went to tears yesterday. That very day, I have my promise fulfilled. Happy, yet sad. But of course, I'm happy for they will step into their chosen doors of dreams. Sad, for I'm going to miss them much.

I also am worried, hoping that everything I've given will contribute anything good, though small, for them to live the real world's life. For them to become the best humans they can be. To play a part in humanity. To live life to the fullest with no regret because they've given their best. Yes, this is the selfish part of a teacher. Selfish, for I hope I mean something in other's life.

Below is a message sent by one of my dearest students. Again, I went all tears. I'm glad I'm a crybaby to justify any tears regarding any touchy things happen to me hehehe…

Dear Ms.Lita,
Thank u so much for all that u've done for us. Altho we've "had" u for only arond 2 years and we started off at the wrong foot, but u have impacted us and our grades, greatly.. If it weren't for u, we probably wudnt've graduated yet hehe

I wud also lyk to apologize for all those times i chatted, dozed off or disturbed ur class in any way.. it's nothing personal,miss.. it's just the subject u know..

hopefully during the short span of 2 years, we hve managed to make u proud, tho it's in the smallest way, n hopefully we've left u with good memories..
one day, when we've all grown up n r successful in our own distinctive fields, we'll look back n be grateful for u n all the teachers that has helped us to be what we can be..

love u miss 🙂

Any pain and disappointment exist from my interaction with them all disappeared in a sudden. Gone.

See you in the better future, dear. Have a safe journey. We'll meet with smile. You have my pride. I love you, too.