bananaTALK

It gives you comfort. Yet it gets smaller. Your wings are crippled, now. You’re afraid of so many things you used to face with strong attitude and bold heart. Since when you’ve become so coward?

—

I’m scared of critics. I winced every time my name is mentioned. Thinking, “What is it? Is it something bad I do?” I’m scared of people’s thought. While who knows what they are thinking now. They could be busy about themselves and not bothering a single thing about me. So why?

I’m scared of speaking my mind. I no longer dare to talk blatantly with firm tone, defending my belief. I tend to think it over. And over. And over. And in many times, it ended in silence. “Better not talk than to cause problem.” There. I got drown in it too much, I almost forgot how to talk.

I’m scared of people. Almost looks like everything ‘there’ is better than here. Absurd point of view, I know. But scared people can’t be said as truly sane.

It’s too shallow to be said as a contemplation. So, no, this is just a mumbling. I need to get this out. There, I just admitted that I’m scared.